How to heal yourself with love and gratitude in your heart. This is a tough lesson for anyone to learn, more so to admit it to oneself and be willing to embrace change even in the face of intense emotional pain and loss.
" One of the reasons for my recent break-up is that I lost love and respect for myself. This spiralled out of control when I realised (and she told me) that she was losing love and respect for me. It became a vicious cycle. Towards the end I was a passive-aggressive monster with no control over my emotions; a far cry from the happy, quirky, goofy, independent guy I was when she met me four-plus years ago.
The trajectory of the relationship was such that breaking up (again!) was inevitable. Yet when it finally happened, and especially given the circumstances in which it happened, I raged against it. Soon I fell into a deep, dark depression that even had me visit a ghastly suicide-glorification website.
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=391067
This is when I began proactively developing ways to intercept negative and hurtful feelings and replace them with positive feelings. I based them on techniques espoused in audio books I have listened to recently, including Rhonda Byrne's The Secret and the The Power, as well as more "grounded" self-help works such as Anthony Robbins' Awaken the Giant Within and Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
One technique I use when I am aware that I am slipping into a negative thought process is to think to myself or say out loud, as appropriate, "thank you, thank you, thank you" over and over until thoughts and feelings about the people and things I am grateful for make me smile. I alternate that with thinking to myself or saying out loud, as appropriate, "I love, I love, I love" until thoughts and feelings about the people and things I love make me smile. I repeat these processes as often as I need to during the day. And I make sure I do them before I sleep at night and as soon as I wake up in the morning.
The trajectory of the relationship was such that breaking up (again!) was inevitable. Yet when it finally happened, and especially given the circumstances in which it happened, I raged against it. Soon I fell into a deep, dark depression that even had me visit a ghastly suicide-glorification website.
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=391067
This is when I began proactively developing ways to intercept negative and hurtful feelings and replace them with positive feelings. I based them on techniques espoused in audio books I have listened to recently, including Rhonda Byrne's The Secret and the The Power, as well as more "grounded" self-help works such as Anthony Robbins' Awaken the Giant Within and Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
One technique I use when I am aware that I am slipping into a negative thought process is to think to myself or say out loud, as appropriate, "thank you, thank you, thank you" over and over until thoughts and feelings about the people and things I am grateful for make me smile. I alternate that with thinking to myself or saying out loud, as appropriate, "I love, I love, I love" until thoughts and feelings about the people and things I love make me smile. I repeat these processes as often as I need to during the day. And I make sure I do them before I sleep at night and as soon as I wake up in the morning.
1) Find a way to heal with love and forgiveness in your heart. For the simple and sincere act of loving and forgiving the person who broke your heart will help your heart heal a lot faster than if you consciously hold on to anger and pain. Loving and forgiving another equates to loving and forgiving yourself.
2) Be proactive when it comes to loving yourself. Only YOU can love YOURSELF. Experiment with techniques that promote thoughts and feelings of love and gratitude in your heart and in your mind in order to displace pain and negativity. Make it a project to develop your own techniques. I swear to you that this may be the most important assignment you ever set yourself in your life."
How to heal yourself with love and gratitude in your heart. What I find impressive about this man's courage to share his experience is his willingness to face himself and own the feelings that are too often blocked in the mistaken notion that it isn't "manly".
2) Be proactive when it comes to loving yourself. Only YOU can love YOURSELF. Experiment with techniques that promote thoughts and feelings of love and gratitude in your heart and in your mind in order to displace pain and negativity. Make it a project to develop your own techniques. I swear to you that this may be the most important assignment you ever set yourself in your life."
How to heal yourself with love and gratitude in your heart. What I find impressive about this man's courage to share his experience is his willingness to face himself and own the feelings that are too often blocked in the mistaken notion that it isn't "manly".
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